Rock You Like a Hurricane
It is 8pm. I am supposed to be making dinner but I think I will write. I need to catch my breath. My knees are rather week. Let me sit down and write.
I was in the kitchen fixing a bottle of formula for Miki. The little boy is in the living room watching TV while occasional doing a head-stand or karate chopping the air depending on what Spongebob was doing. But most of the time he would be rolling on my shaggy carpet that he calls “geli-geli”.
While I was waiting for the water to boil, I walked over to check on my cellphone on the table. That’s when I saw something creeping at the corner of my dining room. My heart skipped a beat. But because I am 28 years old and wise and rational I did not scream. Not at all peeps! I am so proud of myself. I steadied myself, I leaned my back on the wall and walked sideways towards the living room while keeping my eyes fixed on the creeping sonnofabeecch.
In my very brave voice I told Miki; THERE’S A SCORPION IN THE HOUSEEEEE!! RUN UPSTAIRS!!! RUNNNNNN!
Miki went “huhhh???”
The mystery animal was about 6 inches long and black in color, it has two large claws and smaller legs, it creeps its way from the corner to under the chairs towards the kitchen. Look! I have watched The Mummy ok! I know this one! It doesnt take a zoologist to identify that this venomous creature is a SCORPION!
How it had gotten into our house I dont know but I know one sting would paralyze a young woman like me; and in Miki’s case a single sting would even kill a lil munchkin like him and then… and then….
The scorpion would eat us !!! It would eat us Miki!! Nooooo! I haven’t been to Disneyland!!! Wait a minute, if we were really destined to be tragic victims of a hideous, poisonous, godforsaken creature that is not found in Malaysia; then we shall be victims that died fighting!! We shall fight Miki! Let’s bring the animal down!!!!
WHERE’S MY CAMERA???
Ok. So it’s a lobster. Look, I have been short sighted since I was 14 okay? And my dining room has romantic dim light. And scorpions and lobsters are cousins ok? I read about it somewhere. It’s not like I was overreacting or anything. Azman should have locked or chained or taped his aquarium shut! But nopeee he kept its top open and I didn’t know that the RM3 lil prawn we bought two weeks ago could have grown that freaking big even when we kept forgetting to feed it! And what the hell did it do climbing out of the aquarium and roaming the house like nobody’s business??
I HATE CRUSTACEANS! I’LL NEVER EAT IKAN TERUBUK AGAIN!
Ikan terubuk bukan crustacean ok, tapi banyak sangat tulang, akak stress tau!