Siri Bercakap dengan Miki – P is for Polonium or Phosphorus? – Questions my toddler asks

I knew it the moment Miki discovers what the AppStore has in store for him, we are doomed. We disabled the in-app purchase feature in our iPad but that won’t stop his annoying request after request after request after question “CAN WE DOWNLOAD THIS APP, MUMMY? DIA TULIS F.R.E.E… FREE!!”(repeat 10 million times)

So I downloaded the chemistry for kids app for him hoping he would just let me shower or drink my coffee in peace… After all I need for that is 30 seconds, yes don’t you know Moms can shower and drink hot coffee or both in 30 seconds? I could! But no, he won’t. Miki asked me while I was driving, he asked while I was feeding Rafa, he asked while I poop. In the bathroom. From outside. Shouting…

“P tu maksudnya apa, Mummy?” Bang, bang, bang… pintu bilik air. Nak berak pun tak jadi ok?!

“Plumbum!” I yelled back.

“Tadi Mummy kata, Frostfrus?? Hg tu apa?? Br??”

“I said Phosphorus??? Hg tu Mercury…. Br is *cry* I don’t remember Miki, please… give me sometime, let me look it up in the computer.” And so I hang my head low feeling really bad because Mummy’s now going to 32, she is old (and gorgeous for her age : p) the last time she saw a periodic table was 15 years ago! She is doing PR now and that’s not event an element. It is Public Relations that’s closely related to all the fabulous bimbos in this world. She ain’t do no chemistry anymore! Stop pressuring me like this, Miki!

Yes this is the state I am in right now. Miki recently fell in love in chemistry and I am excited that he is interested but also frustrated for not being able to help. Moreover, chemistry was one of my best subjects in SPM but it seems like I have totally lost it. Nevermind… I am here, Miki, I will support you, I have found this poster and we will learn together.

On the other hand I really hope sometimes I can be like his Dad. Azman is like cucumber cool. His motto in handling Miki I think is “Answer Thy Questions”, only I think it should be “Answer Thy Questions Regardless Wrong Or Right As Long As I Am the Cool Dad”. Hampeh.

See the difference here on how a mom and a dad replies their 5 year old.

Miki, “Mummy Daddy, O tu apa?’
Mom, “O is for Oxygen, it is the gas yang Miki bernafas tu…”

Miki, “At apa? At?”
Mom, “At…. I don’t remember Miki, let’s go find jadual berkala poster kat Popular and we learn together ok?”
Dad, “At is…… ATRIUM”
Miki, “Oooooo… atrium….”
Mom, “SALAH!!! JANGAN MAIN HENTAMMMM!!!”
Dad, “Mummy….jangan jerit-jerit…”

Miki, “Mummy Daddy, Kr tu apa aa? Kr?”
Mom,”Miki… Mummy tak ingat… Kalau kat Popular takde poster, balik kita cari kat internet ok? Sabar kejap!”
Dad, “Kr tu Miki, kryptonite! Miki tak kan Superman kalau dekat dengan kryptonite.. blablabla…”
Miki, “Ooo yang Superman tu???” *mata bersinar*
Mom, “Bukan!! bukannnnnnnnn!!!”*meroyan*

Miki, “Mummy Daddy, F tu apa?”
Dad, “F tu… hmmm Fotosintesis!!”
Miki, “Ehh bukan itu untuk plants!”
Mom, “F tu Florine!!!!! Jangan main tibai!! Miki pun tahu!!” *double meroyan*

Dear God, please save my son from his Dad’s chemistry cult. Thank you.

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