New Moon is a movie based on a novel of the same name by Stephenie Meyer and is the sequel to 2008′s Twilight. I watched it during the weekend. I think it worth nothing but a puddle of steaming bat poopoo.
For someone who has not read the books or seen the earlier prequel, I believe I would not be less disappointed even if I have. The list of reasons why I vomit blood the movie is a failure to me can be amazingly extensive, and number one, it’s definitely because I am not 13.
The two hours spent felt like two years. The extremely slow pace was suffocating, the entire movie has so many kissing scenes and yet the real vampire must-have scene seemed to be intentionally left out. Leaving viewers with endless questions…
What happened to the missing backpackers/hitchhikers that were lost in the woods? Jacob denied that his pack has anything to do with it so it got to be Victoria. But if all I saw of Victoria was swinging from tree to tree and scaring old man to a heart attack, boy that’s just wimpy! Sad and wimpy! And these werewolves were hanging around protecting Bella from the avenging Victoria, and that she was gonna kill her. You sure? I didn’t even see her try.
What kind of vampire movie that doesn’t have any blood sucking scene? Answer- a shitty one aka New Moon. The only sight of blood in the movie was at Bella birthday party when she had a PAPER CUT! Paper cut, ladies and gentlemen! That is one notch higher in the scale of gruesomeness than a splat of blood bursting from a squashed mosquito.
Let’s refresh! Remember the part when a whole bunch of tourist was conned into going inside the chamber of the Volturi, and the scene had ended with screaming sounds. For goodness sake show us some action! Not because viewers like me are blood thirsty but because it can actually depict what these vampires are capable of. Setakat pegang-pegang tangan dapat baca fikiran… eii Ayah Pin Kerajaan Langit pun boleh buat! Dia tak vampire pon! Dia Melayu murtad jer…
And there’s another scene where Jacob has started to fight with Sam and the other hottie werewolves were ordered to “Take Bella to Emily’s!” I was almost saying wth? I don’t wanna see no Emily! I wanna see the fight?! So not only the director failed to show the vampires in action, he deprived viewers from seeing dogs’ brutality too. Same goes in the scene where the werewolves was chasing Laurent (gosh he made me wanna sing Boom Boom Pow!) Come on! Not all viewers are teeny boppers, some want to see how werewolves kill vampires. I think that’s a crucial part that needs to be portrait considering this is a movie about a wide breadth of the human evil breed.
Overall, scene potholes in New Moon are way much more than the potholes on the road at Puncak Jalil. Vomit blood!
And don’t get me started on the characters. I believe it’s the repugnantly bad acting, that even Dakota Fanning couldn’t help but don’t you just get started on Bella Swan. This girl is one intrepid, sick in the head and extremely bitchy! She needs to study, or get a hobby and get herself to college instead of bashing herself around men all the time! Sangat gedik ok?? Pergi layan Facebook la yang ko dok ingat kat jantan je tuh pehal?? Eii aku mmg anti pompuan gatal uols!
And her character played by Kristen Stewart is annoyingly forever lower-lip biting and having period pain. Oh by the way Bella, the whole cougar thing?! Is totally acceptable if the anak ikan looks like this! Mengerti?!
The effects in this movie are another thing that saddens me. Who made them? Is it the same maker of Agent Oso? The werewolves were so cuddly cute, if Miki had watched the movie, I am sure he has named Jared, Paul, Jacob and Sam as Chuchu, PinPin, Kamomo and Nonee.
I believe as much as flashbacks are cliché and boring, they are still needed on sequels. A good sequel must be able to shine on its own without depending on viewers to watch the earlier movie or read the book that it was based on. I will forgive Edward Cullen for having so many teeth but I will not forgive myself for letting myself fooled by Win, my ten year old niece and watched this movie!!!
Two and a half out of five.
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