Adapted from a P. Ramlee movie; if ever another person curtly push or hit you on the head; you could say “KAU INGAT KEPALA AKU NI TAK BAYAR FITRAH??” Direct translation – “Hello? My head is a taxpayer ok, give it some respect!”

Anyway, though my skull is literally big (especially on the forehead) I am totally not at the liberty to use this line because OMG! our Zakat Fitrah has not been paid yet!! Huaagghhh… Azman definitely need to eliminate that from our To-Do list soon; leaving about 20 more things to be attended to and we just don’t have the drive to get them done and over with…

Item no. 1- Shopping. This one might get you surprised – I almost did ZERO shopping! I did not buy any baju raya for me, did not buy any even FOR MIKI!! Well, new clothes are the last thing on earth that the boy needs, he still has beautiful new outfits that I bought when he was 4 months IN MY TUMMY and has never been worn! But just think about it, no crispy new baby jumpsuits and baby shirts and little baby pants fresh from the paper bag for raya? Insane! I have not done shopping for baju raya for my mom and my parents in law too. Goshh…
Actually I managed to kick start the shopping process last Saturday on which we went to Jalan Tunku Abdul Rahman to get Miki some baju melayu. It was madness! Way too many people, too little oxygen and I couldn’t find the tiny baju melayu that I want. Miki ended up with a pair that is ngam-ngam his size and not gonna last him very long. Samping pun tak jumpa!

Azman lagi worse. Yesterday I dragged him to Parkson Subang Parade, asked him to get some t-shirts to wear in the kampong but his answer was “ahhh.. takda mood lah!”. He refused a new baju melayu too. Tsk tsk. Myself on the other hand managed to buy something at Parkson yesterday. It was a new handbag. I walked around the bags section, grab one and paid for it. No browsing. No going to 4 other shopping malls and come back before purchasing. Aku ni dah insaf kot?

Item no 2 – Spring cleaning. The house is a complete mess. Not that it hasn’t been that way perpetually since the birth of Miki but now it has advanced from a tongkang pecah to tongkang-laden-with-junks-that-has gone-pecah. We have crappy junks everywhere. It doesn’t help that we have a hyper 1.5 year old kid that finds throwing things on the floor is the most legitimate reason he that was alive. Not to mention that our rented house has begun to look really drab. Cement on the front yard looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger the Terminator has landed there from years beyond. That is if I looked at my yard with no contact lens on. With perfect vision it looked more like Godzilla had done tap dancing there. It’s awful! Not to mention the paint. Ugly! Very ugly sight especially the exterior of the house and the fencing. And what have we done about all these? NOTHING!

Item no 3 – Kuih Raya. I have not baked anything at all. Every time friends or blog readers ask for a kuih raya recipe; I would happily give it to them like it was the 30th wedding present that you receive in the form of a TEA SET – gladly give them away; totally no interest to use them. Not at all. Okay, not baking may not be so weird but I also hardly ordered any. Last order I did was because a co-worker practically pushed the order form on my face and said “ORDER NOW OR I WILL SUBMIT THAT ARTICLE TO YOU THREE RAYAs AFTER!” Something is wrong with me- I usually do goods pre-order better than I do liquid eye-liner applying while driving at 120 km/h.

Counting down till Saturday when we gonna travel up north, looks like we only have a few days left to get things done. My head is totally messed up.

Eeiii.. tapi korang jangan ingat aku tak shopping ni sebab aku sengkek pulak. Pastu dan-dan korang suruh aku buat business jual bra infra merah kan? Please ok?

Actually all our headache is caused by the house buying process that we are going through right now. Seller of the house that we are buying are a divorced couple. Just like drama on TV, they are clawing on each other trying to make each other’s life a living misery. Thus, we have spent way too long time waiting for the S&P to be signed even after we have paid a huge sum for down payment.

Sakit jiwa ok? By right we should be able to move in our new home sweet home soon but darn it! We got stuck at S&P signing and it is not even our fault. Imagine you have paid so much money but there is no sign of when we are gonna get the keys, we don’t know if we are moving or not in these coming weeks, thus the house is left permanently like a muddled warehouse. We totally have no mood to decorate, not even tidy up..

Bengang!!! Takde mood nak raya…!!!!

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I received an e-mail from a reader in Australia (Hi J!) today requesting for the recipe of Pineapple Tart or resepi kuih raya Tat Nenas Gulung.

I am very honored to get kind of emails cause it makes me feel trusted but at the same time, I go like “Hampa ingat aku ni Chef Wan ka apa?” hahahha…

Anyway here I have another version of the kuih raya recipe, the easiest one I believe because it is written step by step.

Resepi Tat Nenas ( Pineapple Tart Recipe)

What you need:-

PART A – 400 grams of pineapple tart mix
PART B – Flour
PART C – Pineapple jam
Egg yolk for glazing
Pineapple tart mold
Pastry brush
Mixing bowl

Part A – THE TART MIX
1 cup butter ( 226 gram) at room temp)
1 egg yolk
1 tea spoon vanilla essence
20 gram sugar

Part B – THE FLOUR
40 gram corn flour
50 gram custard flour
20 gram milk powder
240 gram wheat flour.

PART C – PINEAPPLE JAM
Ingredients for Pineapple Jam (makes 50 tarts):
4 young pineapple
2 cups of sugar
cloves
cinnamon
Daun pandan

Methods:
Crush pineapple without skin and core
Simmer with some water and daun pandan, continue stirring till it thickens
Add sugar, vanilla, cloves and cinnamon
Continue to stir until it is completely thick and can be rolled into a ball
Remove from fire and let it cool

When we have prepared part A, B and C, we can now begin making the tarts. Here is the step by step methods:-

Step 1: Pour pineapple tart mix (PART A) into mixing bowl and mix well.

Step 2 Put in the flour (PART B) and mixedy- mix Step

3: Mix everything. ( Works better if you can do a little dance while you are at this! Hehe) Step

4: Use your hands to fold the batter till it’s even. Flatten the batter in the mixing bowl.

Step 5: Refrigerate for 30 minutes or longer to let it harden

Step 6: Fill some batter into the mold. Array them on the baking tray.

Step 7: Wrap batter strip around rolled pineapple paste.

Step 8: Remove extra batter strip. We just need enough batter strip to wrap around the pineapple paste. Arrange on a baking tray.

Step 9: Glaze the uncook pineapple tart using an egg yolk with pastry brush

Step 10: Bake at 180°C for 15 minutes. When it’s almost done, you can actually smell the delicious mouth-watering pineapple tarts. Store pineapple tarts in small air-tight containers. Why use small containers? Pineapple tarts molds easily when any water or even saliva touches it, therefore separate it so that not all of your pineapple tarts will be moldy.

Happy Baking!!

ps-  For more of my favourite recipes; click here and here.

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Two days ago I have taken my blog to a greater height. I created a POP QUIZ, hooray!! And it was not about reaching just another blogging milestone, I was genuinely pleased that I could generate such an intellectual question specially made for my intellectual readers.

It was a pretty tough question, alright. Kinda challenge your brain ability in semantic and logic, and hopefully after my readers are done thinking, they are still capable of doing basic mathematic instead of turning spastic and starts changing the nose with plastic. Wtf?

Anyway, the question is:-

WHAT DO HELLO KITTY, SPONGEBOB, SHIN CHAN AND DIYANA HAVE IN COMMON?

A lot of people submitted their answers in the comment box, thank you very much. I must say that all answers are correct so all of us are pemenang and no one is pengalah.

But one thing that I don’t understand is answers like penepet (dangerously cynical),muka berlubang (holes in face) , hidung penyek (flat nosed), muka petak (square face); and kekampungan yang hanya Tuhan boleh membalas ( a beautiful young woman from the suburban and God will always bless her beauty) !!!!!

KORANG NI PEHAL HAA?? KORANG MENGAMBIL KESEMPATAN NAK MENGEJI AKU YE??? HAMPEH BETULLAAA KORANG SEMUA…..

I know la all those characteristics describe me better than depicting Bani as a big fat vain badass but you don’t have laaa to say it out loud kan?? Pantang aku suruh komen, habis sebakul kutukan bagi kat aku.. aku pasrah je… dalam hati membara-bara..

Anyway the person that came the closest to the correct answer is Shqrmom; she said “Is it about pictures being stolen and used against legal rights?” I would hand her the first prize immediately if it ain’t for the word legal that she used. Owhhh Legal is a word too big for someone kampong hanya Tuhan membalas like me… hahahaha

Actually people, my photo with eyes closed, mouth open and rambut like Kumpulan Hujan has been used by some stranger as his/her avatar in forums. So the similarity between Hello Kitty, Spongebob, Shin Chan and me is that our photos have used as profile pictures by strangers to represent themselves.

I am deeply concern about the one that has been using my picture especially. What if she wears baju kurung with suede loafers? OMG!! She could be a lady driver from Putrajaya!!! Noooo….. I would rather die than be associated with someone who drives with her face three inches from the steering wheel!!!! Nooooo….
 

Tok Gajah forum

mymanutd forum

I found out that my photo has been misused as informed by Bauk my spunky spy. I hope there are no more out there that hasn’t been discovered.

To apens7, yang ko berkenan sangat dengan gamba pompuan gila mulut ternganga tu pehal? baik ko tukar gambar aku tu cepat sebelum aku hanjengkan ko dan ambil legal actions. Ehh pandai pulak guna perkataan legal?

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