Dear Miki,

Someday when you grow up and go to school I am sure you will hear this story from your Ustaz or Ustazah or perhaps you will read it on your own from the web or books.

It is a short story about a child who wanted to borrow ten dollars from his very busy father. The angered father snapped angrily at him but later on he felt so devastated when his child had actually needed some money to “buy” him off his work for one evening. He only wanted to spend some time with his own Dad.

To me and your Daddy this story just another cliché. Until one day…

Several weeks ago Daddy was driving with you to Mama Rose’s. He would drop you off at her house and go to work. For the past few months your communication skills had improved drastically and we could understand almost everything you say. Plus being your own flesh and blood we can even read your body language. Like I wrote before, you often feel punished every time your Daddy and I leave for the office.

In attempt to get your understanding right, I have been telling in simple words that although your parents love you very much, we still need to go to the office, because if we don’t all of us would not have any money to spend for our necessities.

“Mummy Daddy kena pergi work, Miki… Kalau tak kita takde duit!” I hope soon you will understand this statement.

Back in the car that morning, your Daddy was concentrating on the early traffic. You were very unhappy knowing you were going to be left at your babysitter’s and tried to make yourself busy by playing with the things in the car.

You grabbed some money in the coin box and toyed with them for awhile. You said “Daddy nak pergi work nak dapat duit banyak-banyak ke?” Your old man did not reply you. For some reason he didn’t know how to answer.

Then you lift up your chubby arm with rusty thirty cents worth of coins held by your chubby fingers; you look at your Daddy right in the face and said “Nah duit! Miki takde duit banyak-banyak pun….”

With that you hang your head low, your shoulder slumped and your lips turned downwards. You were upset. But you got your Daddy very upset too…

 He and I spent some time thinking about what you said. Did you really mean to give your Daddy money in attempt to help him with his conquest to get a lot of money by working? Or were you simply implying that unlike Daddy you didn’t have much money?

Whatever that was playing inside your mind at time only God knows but goshhh Miki… please stop saying these things! You are breaking our heart in pieces!

Miki, I just want you to know if Daddy really wants a lot of money he could have gone to work in another field called the oil and gas. He could have gone to work offshore where he would get paid very handsomely compared to what he is getting now.

But happiness to your Daddy and I is not money. Our happiness is being together with our loved ones as a family, always be there for each other and that’s all that matters. If money was he after he would need to sacrifice the precious time we are spending watching grow every inch every kilos, learn to speak new word after word, climb the monkey bar higher and higher and for richness he would not give these moments up.

Neither would I. I could have been in Paris expending my super model career but we just wanna be with you…

So someday when you are all grown up and reading this. Remember that Mummy and Daddy is doing our best to put warm food on the table and enjoy what ever we have as a family. Together. Always and forever. You are beyond diamonds and pearls to us, baby!

We love you,
Mummy

Always be my baby… picture taken 26 August 2008

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There is a new topic of discussion right now which is the disgust towards media and individuals that upload or disseminate photographs of road victims, sickly people, dead bodies etc.

This issue is not new to me, I always thought those who stopped by the roadside to watch accident victims catching their last breath HAVE MENTAL ISSUES THAT NEED PROFESSIONAL ATTENTION.

I remember giving my friend a lecture because she shared a video of a dying woman, body probably broken at 10 different places in Facebook. What was the person who captured the video thinking? Do you enjoy watching such moments? If you do, please go see a psychiatrist right now. You are sick! Sick! You need help.

And last week, my other friend was tagged in a few pictures of her former high school teacher. Apparently, her schoolmate has gone to visit the poor old man at the hospital. He was in coma. He had tubes coming in and out of him. He was shirtless lying on what seems like his death bed. WHY DID THAT IDIOT TOOK HIS PICTURE???

Let me ask you retards some questions, if you were in such condition, sickly, dying, not properly covered DO YOU WANT YOUR PICTURE TAKEN AND UPLOADED TO THE WORLD TO VIEW? Do you think the family of those poor souls would appreciate you showing the photos of their loved ones in such condition?

Please, you young people of Malaysia, your fantastic smart phones and cameras and whatever gadgets that you have, put it in good use. And the print media, be it tabloids or not, you Editors pls have some dignity, have some integrity, don’t be such a sell out in trying to sell newspapers. Please be wiser!

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I guess I have grown wiser these days. I find myself keeping quiet. Yeah! I remain quiet and smiling and keep what ever bitching I feel sprouting deep in my chest from flourishing into contradicting statements that escape my lips. I am sure it is better that way, we get to keep our relationship as perfectly as usual and the poyo person wouldn’t know how blood vomiting she makes me feel unless she reads this blog.

Haha! Yeah. It’s blog bitching time.

No. 1. I hate talking with stay-at-home-moms (SAHM). Not all but some.

Ladies, with me you can speak of a lot of things like shopping, Botox injection and susuk, green technology and nuclear power, the extinction of dodo birds, cooking and recipes, football, blogging, Iphones and BB, national income disparity, the murder of arwah Sosilawaty, foresight and future studies, shoes and handbags, the national frustration among women with the marriage of Dr Sheikh Muzaffar! You name it!

But of course, when we moms get together, we tend to talk about kids, parenting and occasionally, marriage life. One thing I cannot stand SAHMs is the fact that they try very hard to express to us full-time-working-moms; that their role as SAHMs is not only as challenging as ours but MORE!

Look, I am not gonna deny that you can get very tired doing laundry and many a times your husband nags about his mismatch socks and cari sepender tak jumpa la apa bagai… But come on, don’t say it as though we working moms don’t have to deal with all that!! Apa ko ingat aku kerja opis aku tak payah basuh spender laki aku ke? Puhhleeesszz! I am like the Queen of hilangkan spender okkkk?

Please understand we working moms too have to deal with scrubbing the toilet and making dinner and all. Not all of us have maids, ok?

And No. 2, there’s another type of women that is slightly on the heavy side but has self-esteem in the weight of a fragment of Miki’s spender cut into 12. Why am I still talking about spenders?

Anyway, I think we all have become so used with what’s happening in the television. Ugly Betty, Shallow Hal etc whereby the slim or skinny tends to say mean things to the fat and heavy. But come to think about it, that hardly happen in real life anymore or perhaps the norms are really turning around because nowadays I tend to see curvaceous women are using harsh statements about slimmer women so seriously and so unnecessarily.

It is as though they are using dissing slim people as some form of motivation or self- cajoling aka menyedapkan hati sendiri or something like that.

For example the other day I was eating with a curvy friend and you all know I eat like there’s no tomorrow and couldn’t give a rat’s ass about dieting. So I don’t see why the other woman suddenly get defensive and said

“You know, I don’t care about dieting. I love myself. Don’t people realize that curvy is more beautiful and sexy? Who wants to be so thin and skinny? I think that’s so ugly! I bet all men wants a bit of flesh on the girls they are dating!”

Tu diaaaa… ko tak sedar ke ko tengah cakap dengan Diyana aka Orang Lidi ni???? I don’t think saying that is fair to those who were born thin like me. I didn’t choose to have high metabolism, if I did get to choose I would have gone luscious Rihanna, Kim Kardashian or Rozita Che Wan or something…

And then there are other women that love to say things like “Laki aku tak suka pompuan kurus-kurus ni…. Dia suka yang gebu-gebu..” Tak pasal-pasal! Masalahnya aku tak pun cakap pasal laki aku suka giler kat Kate Moss supaya secara tak langsung aku nak cakap kat ko yang aku ni macam Kate Moss kan? Lagipun ada aku kisah laki ko suka pompuan kering ke pompuan debab? Motippp?? Aku tak hingin kat laki ko dan laki ko pun tak hingin kat aku. So quit it! You are annoying!

Every time I got into this kind of situation I would quickly assess back the conversation and see if I have triggered her to make such statements. Perhaps I have unintentionally bragged about how pretty slim people can be or what not. If I did I am sorry I didn’t mean to make these plus size women feel insulted but most of the times I wasn’t talking about health and beauty or husband’s preference at all!

Come on, we are adults now, we are almost 30 years old. Haven’t these women realize that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. I have so many plus size friends that I find gorgeous (read : Kak Ani, Badriyah, Liza etc) are more attractive than some of my slimmer friends and ME! If slim women can be open and admit that their curvy friends are gorgeous while still loving themselves and be confident, why can’t these curvy ladies feel the same?

Kesian ok kat orang kurus-kering!!

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