Last whole week, I was working with our Japanese designer from the HQ. We’re working on a new product design for 29″ deflection yoke (DY) for CRT TV. His name is Akio Murata and he’s the only Sony DY designer left in Japan. To me, thats nothing shocking because I’m also the one and only DY Designer left in Malaysia. That leaves just the two of us designing DY for Sony in the whole world.

I really believe that WWF should have come to catch and label both of us as ‘rare species’. They must put us side by side with the Panda bear before it’s too late.

On top of that,WWF should take care of me a lot more because I’m a lot younger than old Murata-san. He’s already 57 years old !! I hold higher chances for survival and can live longer.hahaha..

However, I have accepted the fact that WWF does not even bother to save our species because the world nowadays loves the new hybrid called LCD.

This new hybrid is not friendly with us at all in fact they eat us designers one by one in silence and wipe out our population. Shockingly, we seem to love being eaten by this new hybrid and I do hope I’ll get eaten soon and officially mark the completion of my species extinction..yeeaaahhh..

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My assistant Bobby ( not his real name) is getting married. I am very fond of my assistant. He is very efficient, hardworking and helpful. When I ask him to use the thick Annual Report to crush the back of my head whenever he sees me falling asleep on my desk, he will instead use my ridiculously huge laptop! To ensure I don’t go drift back to sleep, he shrieks loudly

“that one is for screwing my appraisal, you skinny pig!”

I always jump wide awake immediately! You can never find a co-worker as sweet. He even calls me skinny!

Sometimes, when he goes out to the run important office errands, he brings me back lotsa delicious cekodok pisang; and it takes me just once of threatening to report to the HR about him installing the cctv at the ladies’ and snooping on me smoking pot in the loo.

When Bobby takes 2 weeks leave for his wedding receptions, the world comes crashing down on me. Not only have I lost the touch of the most talented graphic designer of the company in my blueprints but I also seem to lose the loyal bearer of my bathroom slippers.
I emerge to a state of hectic busyness till I forget to read all the messages about Friendster closing down sent by my intellectual friends. I think there are about 50 of those messages in my Friendster inbox now.Today I need to send close to 200 units of blueprints to our corporate members by post. I also have a dozen more articles to write. The clerk has to cover for the receptionist and the tea lady is too busy serving vodka to the board of directors in the meeting room. While dancing.

So who is gonna lick the stamps?? 200 stamps? And place the blueprints into the envelopes? And paste the mailing address on the covers? Who? Who? Who?

I can now feel the energy released from chemical reaction between particles of salt crystal while they combine and change into the substance of fist size stone in my bladder. Because I don’t have a chance to take a piss yet! I dont even know when will I get my ganja dose for the day! And its 10.27am already!

Yes, those pictures are real. Emi took them. Nope the story is not so real. Bobby would never call me pig!?? That’s a haram animal ok? He calls me baboon!

Congratulations on your wedding Bobby!

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Rummaging through old junks can really be great fun! And on rare occasion you can get to untangle hidden mysteries; unearth precious treasures or in my case last Friday, found a couple of pictures dated 1998 that are so valuable. Who would believe stacked among pictures of corporate launchings and AGMs are photos highly contributive to the well being of my personal state of humor; evidence to rare scientific phenomena and most importantly these pictures are fresh stimuli for me to submit a proposal to Rexona.

This is what I found at the office. Can you spot the not?

After much gawking I had moved on to laughing hysterically before I gawked again this time trying hard to methodically search for the source of the diamond shape damp. Did she wee-wee, had an accident and wet her skirt?

Being a female myself, I know very well that is not the spot for a wee-wee accident. Relative to that, around the waistline you can also find the same dark blue spots. So it can’t be a wee-wee accident and must definitely be a true case of perspiration!

That is my theory and I must say I need second opinion!

With the assistance of my colleague Liza (while laughing like mad), we have concluded that if you do not want to sweat on your sheshe; do not sing in very high soprano voice. Liza is very analytical; she even includes the possibility of an overly bushy bush causing the matter.

Please bear in mind that this is only a suggestion and the scenario above is just our proletarian hypothesis influenced with very sick humor.

However, we do strongly believe that Rexona needs to transfer their prominence on the glorified armpits and start introducing a new range of deodorant because some people just sweat among their bushes!!!

Wahahahahaha!!

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