At least there is no tar in my fart!

Was in the big boss’ office discussing a multi million project. 4 out of 7 people there was devouring cancer sticks puff puff puff none stop one stick after another. The room was not exactly big and of course air-conditioned.

I saw the smoke from their cigarettes and those gushing out from their mouths and noses formed huge evil skulls with fiery red eyes in the mid air before disappearing. My face turned red then blue then purple. With every breath that I took, I could feel exactly how so many of the alveolus in my lung shriveled and turned into gooey green poisonous mass forever.

Fifteen minutes through my colleagues were already noticing how close to dying I was but they too cant say a word because after all one of the smokers, a lady pushing forty, so disgustingly obese and so horribly arrogant was the biggest boss we need to please.

Yes, I had the urge to pounce onto them and slap their faces one thousand times each and yell into their ears YOU ARE SUFFOCATING ME before I choke them to death and spare them the chemotherapy they would perhaps need later!!
Oh no! Wait! before that I’d like to tie them up securely to flag poles, and when they are immobile I’d love to position my butt directly 2 inches away from their nose and fart fart fart!! Then I’d call Azman and Nize and Dina (she is good at this) to blow lethal organic gas on their faces too! I would put my hands on my hips, throw my head back and laugh evil laughs at them hahaha!! Serves them right,and then I pounce on them.

But rationally I would not say anything of course, no matter how I hate it, I still respect their choice of wanting to have stinky breath, yellow teeth, reduce their biological age and increase impotency. Hell, they were as good as committing suicide but hey, it’s their lives. It is a free country, if you can vote for the mean nepotism leaders you can smoke too, it’s almost the same thing.

I just wished that all smokers out there not to smoke in such an enclosed space when there are non smokers around. You may not think about your health but the others are. Please respect that.

Author: Diyana

24 thoughts on “At least there is no tar in my fart!

  1. yeap…!! some people people are dead ass inconsiderate. I have had that feeling (like tiying them to the pole and fart and smacking them on the face) too. To these people…..If you feel like dying…..die alone you moron!!!! don’t drag us with u!!!!

  2. i’m a smoker. and i do respect people. if i am lucky, i will live longer or at least for another 35 years. i considered my self as a heavy smoker but people do respect me. why? because i RESPECT them. RESPECT is not for free, we have to earn it.

    to the smokers out there, if you want people to respect you, please respect them. please obey those easy simple life rules regarding smoking habits i.e dont smoke in prohibited public places and in a closed room. try to keep your distance while smoking with a non smoker. the more you keep your distance from them, the closer they will get to you. how do i know? i’m the living proof of a smoker!

  3. Eh where’s the other half of my angry emoticon. Hoh hoh. >:( Oh and the sentence above rhymed. I totally rule this world.

  4. diyana,ko lupe ke..ko ade baby dalam perut tu..dangerous la..non-smoker lagi kesian la..tak pasal2 kna lung cancer jgak..
    aku suggest ko pakai je mask.mask rider ke..ape2 la..

  5. woi!!! kalau tak paham, atau tak baca aku tulis jgn komen la…
    bila masa aku isap rokok???

    hiyyyahhhhh!!! tendangan padu maut ke arah ayak dan ili….
    watchaaaaaaa!!

  6. Though I do not condone this ‘puak Hamas’ behaviour of yours, I say stick a dead rat up their fundamental orifices (that’s ass holes for you) for second hand smoker like you and me die first before the first hand smoker. Wait, I thought cannot smoke inside gov offices meh?

  7. Kesiannya kat Diyana terpaksa menyedup udara yang tercemar itu, deme tu tak tau ke awak ni pregnant, mmmm sungguh tak elok untuk baby… ish ish ish.. bincang apa la agaknya tu….

  8. Diyana…diorang ni memang susah lah…tak pedulik kat orang lain…yang bahayanya bila mcm kes diyana ni…kesian…tgh pregnant plak tu..memang tak elok pun asap rokok tu pada u…

    Kalau kak lady lah…mau dah sempot…muntah camtu…

  9. Oitttttt hikmat mengelak tendangan!! What I meant was, you are pregnant lagi [the smokers] want to smoke their ciggies… dundundunnnnnnnnn.

  10. Ooohh..sungguh kejam..oo, aku terasa sedikit terasa…ahh tidakk..Oo mari mari mari..kepeh2 14 kelipan mata.. :sinchan:

  11. Jangan terasa Nize..
    Ter”iza” takpa la..

    Nize bagus..dia datang rumah..isap rokok kat luar rumah.
    tak penah dia isap kat dalam umah…tapi..
    pastu masuk balik untuk berkaraoke ..hehe

  12. kiranya, dlm dunia ni hanya ada dua org saja perokok yg berhemah. 1) aku 2) nize

  13. cis..aku bukan kate ko isap rokok la…kan aku dah kate non-smoker lagi kesian…diyana diyana..dah rabun tahap dewa dah ko ni…

  14. A friend once suggested to me to bring a pacifier everywhere. When in the companion of smokers I should start sucking the pacifier…..
    The idea was either they want me to stop sucking the pacifier or they stop smoking in front of me…..
    Hehehe… I never did tried…. u want to try????

  15. anggap kan laaa asap rokok umpama awan disekeliling kite maka kite akan berasa di awang -awangan…..best tuuuuu!!!!!harharhar jgn mare nooo sekalian umat

  16. hmm smlm aku ade meeting ngan timb.pengarah,salah satu topik is how to stop smoking habit among the staff, coz mostly non-smoker staff yg jadi mangsa..so my boss said, if we cannot stop them from smoking,let’s make them difficult to smoke here..cmane tu?ape nak buat?ntahla..aku rase potong gaji ok kot..hehehe

  17. there u go mummy to be turn herself to invisible incredible hulk….if u need any tools to dig/screwed into their throat i have a super power drilling machine at my parents house which can dig 7 feets deep down into earth…..

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