OH NO! THERE IS A PONTIANAK BEHIND MY HOUSE!

Last Friday while the three of us was chilling in front of our current rented house, Kak Sal, our next door neighbor walked by. I  casually asked how she was doing and the answer was also casual and friendly. But what she told us next was too shocking and it had changed our lives 180 degrees.

“Eh, have you guys not hear anything?” she asked “Everybody has been talking about the Pontianak behind our houses!”.

My jaw almost dropped to my boobies, “Huh?” that was all I could reply.

Yes..” she continued, “My daughter heard a woman crying at the mango tree last night, Mr Chan has heard sounds as well and the Indian neighborhood security guard has SEEN HER TOO!”. I scanned her facial expression and boy wasn’t she dead serious?!

To my non-Malaysian readers, a Pontianak is a female ghost, one of the most feared in this region. Often seen in dark, lonely roads, waving down vehicles for a ride in a form of a beautiful woman dressed in white, before changing her appearance into something out-of-this-world ghastly, sure to leave you running for your life, crapping in your pants. She is known for her wailing cries or giggles and would make the hair on your neck stand and send chills down your spine. Apparently, there is one hanging out at the big mango tree behind my house. Bummer!

We told Kak Sal that we have never heard anything unworldly before but I just couldn’t help but cry, “KENAPA KAK SAL BAGITAU KAMI???”.

This is one information I seriously do not wanna know.  Things like this you all must keep secret away from me at all times, because it would spin me through a state of acute paranoia and illusive obsession of the evil spirit to a point that I have to pee or poo in the toilet with the door open and install spot lights at the haunted area in the size of a gas canister that could light the entire Stadium Bukit Jalil. On top of that, Azman (or Miki) has to accompany me to the kitchen anytime I need to fetch a glass of water. That is when I am close to dying of thirst, hunger meanwhile could wait. Do you know that a human being can go on living for eight days without eating? I rather die than go to the kitchen aloneeeeee….

Anywayyy… Kak Sal ended our conversation with “Yeah.. just watch out. I see you tend to leave your back door open at night… Akak balik dulu ye?”

Azman and I exchanged glances.

To be honest, when Kak Sal broke the news to us, I wanted to laugh out loud and told her that – KAK SAL, THAT WAS NOT A PONTIANAK, THAT WAS JUST ME!!!!!

But I don’t think she would find that funny plus she would think I am crazy for screaming like a banshee at wee hours in the morning.

But seriously you guys, crying sounds?? At midnight or one am? I am quite positive that that was just Miki, fighting his parents with all his might, screaming his lungs out NOT WANTING TO GO TO SLEEP.   And the screaming sounds of a woman? You mean like this – “MIKIIIIII…. GO TO SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP……”
Eheheh.. excuse me neighbors but that might just be me.

I didn’t voice this out to anyone, not even Azman until he poured out the same thought voluntarily awhile later. “That’s just us, I am confident!” he said, “the crying is Miki and the screaming you!”

Come to think about it, wow, gila puaka jeritan ku siyallll… satu kampong ingat aku Pontianak!!? Ini sudah lebeeyyy.. Neng Baizurie pun belum tentu boleh menakutkan masyarakat majmuk 1Malaysia kat taman aku… Perghhh! hebattt!

Confident or not. Whether or not the so-called Pontianak is me; I have spent an hour cooking in my kitchen last night while reciting Ayatul Qursi. Once every 3 seconds I would peered out of my window in the look out for the nasty Malay vampire.

I was like, peel onion skin – Allahu laaa ‘ilaaha ‘illaa….
Cut onion in halves – Huu. ‘Al-Hayyul-Qayyuum…..
Pour cooking oil into pan – Laa ta’khuzuhoo sinataw (n) walaa Naom…

Dekat 40 kali ulang uols!! Berkat makanan iols malam semalam. wakakakaka!

I also need Azman to accompany me to the kitchen one minute later than 9pm onwards. In fact, he was supposed to go out and watch Manchester United vs Aston Villa for Carling Cup final last night, but due to the fact that the game should finished at ONE IN THE MORNING; I begged him to watch the game at home and not leave me… huaaaa…. Mummy takottt!

So anyway I hope to be able to forget about the Pontianak behind my house  and resume my life like usual. I am just gonna continue to assume that whatever those people have heard was just me and Miki but in the mean time.. KORANG JANGAN TANAM PAKU KAT TENGKOK AKU PULAK!!! *pengsan*



Author: Diyana

33 thoughts on “OH NO! THERE IS A PONTIANAK BEHIND MY HOUSE!

  1. hhaahahah..just imagine that ponti**just right behind you masa u kat dapur…huahuahua…

    aku kdg2..bila dgr cite camni kat area umah aku..slalu je imagine yg bukan…kdg2 masa tgh cuci muka…camne ye..bila pas abis cuci tu…pandang cermin n aku tgk bukan muka aku…huhuhuhu…scary mary…last2 cuci muka..pastuh tak pandang pun cermin tuh..terus cabut kuar bilik air…..

  2. atie, sib baik ko jauh. kalau tak aku dah lepuk kepala ko 8 kali. ni bukan lagi area rumah weii.. ini BELAKANG RUMAH!! betul2 luar pagar belakang aku!!
    camana aku nak bukak pintu pegi washing machine kat blkg tu???? kang dia buat auumm chak kat aku kang? angin ahmar terus aku. seram siyalll… hishhh

  3. Diyana…kalau akak dengar ni dari mulut diyana mau akak yang mengilai macam pontianak…agaknya miki kalau ada kat dapur masa diyana memasak tu…1 minggu dia pun dah pandai baca Ayatul Qursi tau…

  4. heheheh..sebab jauh aku brani…..xpe..nnti miki tolong mummy….kekkekekk…hmm..nak kena xtra alert le…nnti ada jek xtra assistant dlm umah ko nnti….heeeeeeeeeee

    ni misi kacau jiwa diyana…hahahahhahah

  5. hahahah.. dayen mmg ada talent menjerit mcm ponti since dok rumah sewa lagi. kih kih kih 😛

  6. huahaha… mmg konfem ko pontianak tu… cube ko diam seminggu + tutup pintu dapoq tu… pastu tanya kak sal, pontianak ada lagi tak? sure dia jawab takde punye….

  7. kak anie, huaaa… kenapa korang ketawa… saya takut tau tak!!! cuba akak bayangkan ramai giler orang nampak n dengar hantu mengilai belakang umah akak?!! camana??

    huaaa korang tak baik laa…. :((
    .
    .
    atie pun sama.. ko mmg kejam! Ini betul2 bukannya cobaan!!
    .
    .
    kak nuyu.. ehh perkara yg lepas masih diingat? wakakakak
    .
    .
    den, semalam aku goreng ikan garing2 dengan bawang..hmm wangi!!! tapi pintu tutup!!! bukannya ada hob lak tu… berasap rumah!! takpe… janji aku tak takut sangat….

  8. hu hu..patut la azman tak jadi pi tengok MU vs Aston Villa ngan saya..!! nampaknye aku terpaksa jadi pemburu pontianak pulak ni pasni..emm emm seram jugak rase ni..jangan jadi macam citer “pontianak, perempuan dan dot dot dot..” udah le =P kepeh kepeh kepeh

  9. Saya adalah seratus lima ploh persen konfiden bahawa “ponti” itu Kak D setelah saya mendengar bliau menjerit nama saya kat KFC suatu ketika dulu.. konfem! 😛

  10. aku positif ni diyana. i think so ah yang mengekek mengilai tu ko, yang menangis tu MIKI. tapi, azman pula apa…pokok mangga?

    positif lagi diyana…at least ponti tu menggilai saja gitu, buatnya kalau ponti tu bunyi ‘diiiiiiiyanaaaaaaaaa..uuu..diiiyanaaaaa’. camne? habis quran ko khatam kot.

    seriously, baru aku tau ko memang tak gagah bila main dgn hantu. camon bebeh, diyana kan superlady. hehe

  11. hahaha dee ang takyah risau.. coz i have a feeling dat the pontianak will be more scared of you. Kalau dia dengaq hang jerit..nangis dia sebab kalah!

  12. Kak Anie commented at my FB – “Diyana…dulu masa akak duduk kat Melaka…belakang rumah akak ada pokok binjai & jejawi…memang tempat dia bergayut…tapi dia tak kacau orang.. Orang kata…sebenarnya pontianak yang takut kita…kita tak perlu takut kat dia…bawak paku bila ke dapur…kalau dia dtg…pakukan tengkok dia tu…boleh buat dia jadi bibik…”

    Balik opis nanti aku nak singgah kedai hardware pastu aku nak beli paku panjang sekilo. Kalau dia jadi orang cam Halimah Jongang aku buat bibik. kalau jadi Scha Alyahya aku kawinkan dengan Nize…

  13. masa memula baca 1st part of this entry, i dah seram2 tenguk dah…

    masuk part nak habis, i gelak2 sbb indirectly jiran tetangga u dah samakan u dgn cik ponti.. kekeke…

    baca lak komen2 nie semua, perut i dah keras sbb gelak x habis lg… & baby i pun join gelak kot.. hahahaahahahahah

  14. this post has made me gelak berguling atas lantai. seriously diyana. bila nak buat buku? i paling dulu berdiri mintak otograf okayyy. tapi buat lawak camni tau. *serious*

  15. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHA kali ni seyes aku nk gelak cam opy si gadis ponti weyhhhh!!

    Part ayat qursi tu amatla tak boleh blahhhhhh!!!

    nak tanye, bau bau wangi ke ade ka from ur dapurr?cuba bawak miki kat area berhantu tu. some kids boleh nampak hantuu kan??
    =p

  16. lawak gedongga sgt aih, bolu roma nak naik pun terbantots!!! kalau betoi la ada kan, AND dapatlah confirm its not you….apa kata kol 12 mlm nanti, bila2, hg pi kluaq jenguk2 kat pokok memplam tu, pi slow talk dgn miss ponti tuh. kata kat dia, dunia nih luaih lagi, pi jauh2 dan jgn kacau hg. tak makan pujuk, ajak lawan mengilai, sapa kalah kena blah- aku gerenti hg bleh menang nya tapi!! =D pontianaks are smart ghosts, and have feelings of fear too, like us.

  17. hihihihiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hihihihiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

  18. D..you were damn funny..but to be frank, I heard a pontianak mengilai myself once (thank God only once), just outside my window while I was studying..well, this happened when I was in Form 3, studying for my SRP (err…PMR..wakaka..lagi nak sorok umur..:p). That time we were staying in gov quarters and just beside our house was this big kepayang tree. It was around 10pm and I usually studied with the window opened and only the study lamp was on. And that bloody sucker came mengilai (donno how to describe in english la..) so closed to me that I ran out, just to find out our maid was also shivering in the kitchen..hehe..so proven, it was not just me who heard it..so ur screaming to Miki to go to sleep..is NOTHING compared to “her” scream….

  19. Di, kat tingkap belakang tu tabur la black pepper and garam yang dah dibaca dgn surah Yaasin.

    Kat office dulu ada kejadian mcm tu, what we did was panggil ustat dan kawan-kawan (buat makan-makan sikit ;p) baca Yaasin beramai-ramai. Air Yaasin tu dipercik sekeliling rumah. Jadikan pendinding. Jadikan juga air minum untuk naikkan semangat.

    Makcik aku cakap hidup dalam ketakutan pun boleh memudaratkan sebab it makes your heart beats faster.

    May the force be with you~

  20. hahahahhahahha… dah gile takut dah you kan? ahhahahahah.. yes, assume what you want je la di. mati pulak nanti mengenangkan takut macam nak gile tu.

  21. on a serious note, i second Shani. black pepper, garam and also limau purut dibacakan ayat Quran (3 Qul/ Kursi/ Yaasin/ ayat2 Manzil dll) are traditional and typical remedies used to halau syaitan/ jin dan makhluk2 halus yg lain. sprinkle them at the corners and several points of entry of your house/ room utk jadikan pendinding. InsyaAllah.

    at ipoh, for almost two years I lived alone in a two storey house near a kaki bukit (quite shady and damp; a very lovely living condition untuk ‘mereka’)- this is how I survived on my own.

  22. Haha, have you played Left 4 Dead or Left 4 Dead 2? The pontianak sounds a lot like the witch in the game. C’mon, don’t believe in these stuff and your life will be normal as usual 🙂

  23. hahhhhhhh…kalau nak tau, bebudak petronas kat atas bukit pun dah dengar jeritan dan hilaian. diaorg la citer, kononnya kak ponti ni dtg dari utan kat hi way awan besar tu. so dia jalan2 cari pasal la kot. kat situ (hi way awan besar), staff caltex yg keje malam sampai nyorok bawah meja takut dengar dia menjerit jer tu.

    tapi penduduk kinrara tak perlu risau. esok bila dia dengar jeritan diyana yg bak halilintar tu, lari la dia cari tempat lain

  24. A’uzubillaahiminasyaitaanirrajiim…
    Nauzubillahiminzalik.

    walaupun komentar dan narration hang melucukan tapi soal PONTIANAK harus dipandang berat.

    Pokok mmg tempat dia… jadi jaga2la…. aku takut dia ingat ada kawan (in terms of pitching) ngilai dgn frekuensi yg sama. tambah takut kalau dia menangis kat luar tu adalah setelah mendengaq hilaian and ngilaian hang yg turut buat aku syahdu and sesak nafas. she felt defeated kot, tu la sayu. Tapi jaga2 dh mmg makhluk pontianak ni pendendam so hang better kontrol hilaian hang spy dia tak tercabaq dan terbakaq dgn hang dan mau pedajai hang. Seolah2 blakang umah hang tu tempat jamming and release tension dia. lagi hang kena jaga2…

    Aku pun cuak jugak sebab aku duk sorang….
    Semoga tiada makhlus datang meluah perasaan kat umah aku serta buat kemunculan pulak.

    Sekian terima kasih

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